How to Recognise and Deal with Manipulative Managers
The Silent Poison in the Workplace
Manipulative managers are more common than we like to admit. They don’t just lead—they control, distort, and play psychological games to maintain power. If you’ve ever felt gaslighted, undermined, or constantly second-guessing yourself at work, you might be dealing with one. And the worst part? Many employees don’t realise it until the damage is done.
So, how do you spot them? Here are eight key behaviours manipulative managers use and how to protect yourself.
1. They Use Guilt to Control You
Manipulative managers make you feel bad for setting boundaries. Whether it’s taking time off, saying no, or even just prioritising your mental health, they find ways to twist your actions into selfishness. They frame unreasonable demands as “favours” or guilt-trip you into working extra.
🚨 What to do: Recognise guilt as a control tactic. Set firm, professional boundaries and remind yourself that advocating for your well-being is not selfish.
2. They Take Credit for Your Work
You put in the hard work, and they swoop in at the last minute to present it as their own. Whether in meetings or reports, they minimise your contributions while exaggerating their involvement. Over time, this erodes your confidence and motivation.
🚨 What to do: Document everything. Keep track of emails, drafts, and contributions. Be mindful that manipulative managers may attempt to remove access to shared drives, documents, or internal communication channels to cover their tracks. If possible, store important information securely outside their control. Speak up in meetings when appropriate and ensure your efforts are recognised by others.
3. They Play Favourites to Divide the Team
Rather than fostering a strong team, they thrive on division. They reward loyalty over performance and create an “inner circle” while leaving others out. This pits employees against each other, creating unnecessary tension and insecurity.
🚨 What to do: Don’t play their game. Stay professional, focus on collaboration, and build relationships outside their influence. A strong, united team is their worst nightmare.
4. They Isolate You from Others
One of their strongest tactics is preventing employees from forming strong workplace alliances. They spread misinformation, twist narratives, and create mistrust to weaken your credibility. If you find yourself suddenly left out or hearing false rumours, you might be their target.
🚨 What to do: Stay connected. If you notice a shift in how people treat you, address it directly with trusted colleagues. Clearing the air with facts rather than emotions can undo much of their damage.
5. They Micromanage Every Detail
They demand constant updates, question every decision, and hover over your work like a hawk. Rather than leading, they control—and in doing so, they strip you of confidence and autonomy.
🚨 What to do: Clarify expectations early on. If they keep shifting the goalposts, document your tasks and deadlines. If possible, loop in higher management when their interference becomes unmanageable.
6. They Use Fear to Keep You in Line
Manipulative managers create a high-pressure, fear-driven environment. They make veiled threats about job security, hint that promotions are at risk, or subtly suggest that your role isn’t secure.
🚨 What to do: Fear thrives in uncertainty. The more clarity you have, the less control they hold. If their threats become serious, document interactions and, if necessary, seek HR intervention.
7. They Make Empty Promises
Ever been promised a raise, promotion, or better opportunities that never materialise? That’s a classic sign of manipulation. They dangle rewards just long enough to keep you motivated, only to shift the goalposts when it’s time to deliver.
🚨 What to do: Get everything in writing. If they promise something, follow up via email or ask for clarification on timelines and expectations. If they dodge accountability, take it as a red flag.
8. They Twist the Truth & Misrepresent Facts
They rewrite past events, omit key details, and distort reality to fit their narrative. This keeps employees doubting themselves, constantly questioning their recollections, and ultimately losing confidence.
🚨 What to do: Keep written records of important discussions, decisions, and agreements. If a manipulative manager tries to rewrite history, you’ll have the receipts to push back.
How to Protect Yourself & Take Action
Recognising a manipulative manager is step one. Here’s what to do next:
✅ Set Boundaries – Don’t let them guilt you into overworking or tolerating mistreatment.
✅ Document Everything – Keep records of key conversations, promises, and changes in behaviour. (sadly manipulation can involve bad practice such as removing access to vital documents to support your evidence)
✅ Build a Support Network – Connect with trusted colleagues who can validate your experiences.
✅ Speak Up Strategically – If safe, address issues directly with them or escalate concerns through proper channels. (You need a good engaged board or senior management for this though- and sadly this isn't laways the case- trust me)
✅ Know When to Walk Away – Some environments won’t change. If a manager is damaging your mental wellbeing, leaving may be the best decision.
Final Thoughts
Thankfully, the vast majority of managers are supportive, empowering, and foster healthy work environments. However, when faced with a manipulative manager, recognising their tactics is the first step to protecting yourself and taking action. Work shouldn’t feel like a battlefield. A great manager empowers, supports, and encourages growth—not control, manipulate, and tear people down. If you recognise these behaviours, take action. You deserve a workplace where you can thrive, not just survive.
Have you ever dealt with a manipulative manager? What helped you handle the situation? Let’s talk in the comments.
